Do You Ever....

Do you ever have those days where nothing seems to go right? I had one of those days today. My kids were fighting non-stop, I woke up kinda sad, and I just felt like I got nothing done. Things are just crazy and I want to send my kids to their rooms and not see them for a few hours. Then I stop and remember that they are Children of God and they are on loan to me. I still was having a bad day... and that is okay, as mom's we have a bad day now and then.

I then left to go meet Mike for the Quakes vs. Mavericks game down in Rancho Cucamonga. Abi wanted to keep score (she is learning how to the right way) so she sat next to me. She wanted to go see the dogs they had at the game and asked me to fill in the line-up. As I wrote the names of the teams and the players, I filled in the date. 8-11-09. Then I realized why I was having such a bad day.

8 years ago, Mike and I lost a baby. It was a really hard day for me when it happened. He was our first baby boy, and we lost him. I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. My water broke on Saturday afternoon, Mike rushed me to a local hospital and a short while later, John was born.... because he was so premature he never even took a breath. The hospital treated me poorly and I was transported by ambulance to Kaiser in Fontana for further evaluation. A few days later, we buried our only son in Desert View Cemetery. It was a very hard day, our great Bishop (Dave Long) was there by our sides as we buried our baby boy. Over the next few weeks and months I struggled greatly with depression, but I know now that our special baby boy is with our Father in Heaven on a great mission.

Sometimes I think of him often, other times it seems like months since I have thought about it. But looking back in my journal I know that every August 11th, I have a rough day. We are now blessed with 2 healthy very wild boys (along with our 4 daughters)

I am glad that I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I know that since Mike and I are sealed in the temple for Time and All Eternity, that our precious baby is waiting for us in Heaven.

Tomorrow will be a better day.... I am going to the temple to do work for my ancestors who have gone before with a sister that I visit teach, who has been a member for about 8 months. Good night!